2008 Presidential Race Diarrhea

With Hillary either conceding this weekend or waiting for an Obama assassination attempt, it looks like the impending presidential election will feature John McCain (R) against Barack Obama (D) and some third party hacks that are not relevant because they did not have enough money to run a competitive presidential campaign. As a declared independent, I find myself smack dab in the middle of the two major parties on most of the relevant political issues. I like to pay as little taxes as possible. I support gun ownership. I support re-separating the church from the state. I am fine with legal immigrants speaking Spanish, stealing jobs and paying taxes on their income. I am fine with women having the choice to kill their unborn children. I believe that global warming has little to do with human influence and is just a natural part of Earth’s climate cycle. And lastly, I support establishing a democratic regime in Iraq that is friendly to United States economic interests. Blood for oil? Goddamn right. Spill more blood for oil, I say. Oil is freedom. Oil is the American way. It fuels vehicles, planes, truck fleets and riding lawnmowers. It brings food, living supplies, mobility and convenience to my doorstep. Why would I not want to protect that? Fight the good fight, troops. What ever peace mongering hippy yells “No Blood For Oil” at you is probably driving a Subaru Outback (which gets 20 miles to the gallon), shopping at Whole Foods (which gets their inventory transported in by long haul truckers getting 11 miles to the gallon), supports feeding the homeless (yet lives in a community with anti-panhandling laws) and complains about lackluster education (yet home schools their children or sends them to private institutions) should be dutifully ignored. So who do I vote for? An old war dog that wants to get his work down by the early afternoon so he can catch a quick nap before the early bird at the Sizzler? Or a slick, youthful, used car salesman that never really offers me a viable solution to any problem? Mix in everything I just posted with the fact that I have an intense distrust for politicians and government and here I am. Let the games begin!

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  1. Based on your dislike for your current options, I am curious to know who you voted for in the caucus.

  2. Being an independent, you have to select either democrat or republican for a caucus vote which defeats the whole purpose of being an independent. So I did not participate because the “party declaration” is inconsequential to whom I support. I don’t know who I would have supported anyway. Fred Thompson maybe? His wife is kind of hot. Truth is, I didn’t like any of them. Go figure.

  3. combine your prior post with this one…vote Marisa Miller. She could invade Canada, tax 95% of everyone’s paycheck, and have Fonzie as her VP and still have a 100% approval rating from me.

  4. Ok so Iraqi IS for oil or no wait democracy…or wait I thought it was “WMDs”…damn I keep forgetting. Fuckin’ hippies. Always walking around and stuff. Everybody knows all hippies are rich!

  5. I’m going to write in my vote this year, lets at least make politics a little entertaining; Chuck Norris for President.

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