Anal Coffee Table

Wil: I think if I could be reincarnated, it would be as a hot chick.
Me: That would be cool. I would get giant fake breasts, rub my implants endlessly, smoke cigarettes and do cocaine off Jenna Jameson’s ass.
Wil: Absolutely. I would do everything off her ass; fold clothes, eat a TV dinner, etc. It would be like my coffee table.
Me: Yeah, that is a good idea.
Wil: Keep a nice candle and a jar of potpourri on there. I would even make my guests use coasters.
Me: And no putting out smokes in her orifices.
Wil: No. That is not cool. I would be totally respectful.
Me: Well, as respectful as one can be using another’s ass as a coffee table.
Wil: Right.

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