Jessica Simpson may be getting her own sitcom. This goes to show you that being a sitcom actor takes about as much talent as picking up an apple with your ass. Come to think of it, it probably takes more talent to pick up an apple with your ass. Now there is an idea for a television show. I guarantee people would tune in to watch Jessica Simpson pick an apple up with her ass. An ABC spokesperson claims that, “Jessica has infectious energy and unmistakable star quality. She also has a built-in fan base in both music and television which is a great jumping-off point for us.” Read: She has big tits.