California: Bloodsucking Parasites

Today Colorado is getting a light dusting of snow (a subtle amount added upon the foot or so of blizzard remaining from last week). This means that Coloradans will be saying annoying shit like, “We need the snow” when engaging in small talk. We are in the midst of a drought, you see, and water levels are low due to the past few mild winters and lackluster spring runoffs. Colorado water levels are also low because of states like California. The Colorado River basin provides water to over twenty five million people, sixteen million living in California alone. I say we dam up the rivers and horde our crisp, refreshing, life-giving Rocky Mountain juice. If Californians want some water, let them boil the ocean. In conclusion, fuck you, California.

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