- Fetal Bites: America’s number one fetus cookie cutter. Upon purchase I foresee Scottish Shortbread fetus cookies in my future.
- A giant pregnant anaconda is slain. Seeing all those dead anaconda babies strewn about gave me a Temple of Doom vibe as opposed to a JLo/Ice Cube vibe.
- A preview of Steven Colbert’s “Another Christmas Song.” Colbert has a decent voice and I am guessing the album will kitschy and mildly entertaining ranking somewhere between Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics and The Star Wars Christmas Album (the latter of which I owned on vinyl in my youth).
Despite the objections of the Five Man Electrical Band and Tesla, signs seem to work. When most see a No Smoking sign they abstain from lighting up a dirt stick. Most people will not park next to a No Parking sign. Society tends to obey signs. In Santa Cruz, the Deputy District Attorney ordered all dumpsters be adorned with the sticker No Baby Dumping in hopes that it will discourage reluctant mothers from throwing their babies away. I think this is a good idea and hope it works. If we see a decrease in dumpster babies we should try signs like Absolutely No Murder. Or Gang Rape Strictly Prohibited. Or Do Not Masturbate On The Dairy Products. Why not try it out? My junior high school gym teacher once said that it never hurts to try. Of course, he liked to watch us shower after class but that is not the point. The point is signs work.