Aside from the fringe human population that enjoy slitting hooker’s throats and bathing in their blood, most human beings have a deep aversion to killing. This poses a problem when one’s job requires them to kill (e.g. soldiers, police officers, CFOs). Conditioning people to kill and deal with the psychological consequences is known as Killology; a lovely neologism coined by Dave Grossman. He even wrote an uplifting book on the matter that I just added it to my Amazon Wish List.
I apologize for my neglect of the MB lately as work has kept me busier than your mom after inhaling Poppers at an anal sex convention. I have been catching up after three weeks of ruining my life and the subsequent celebration of ruining my life in a third world country. On with today’s link goodness:
- Bestiality is now illegal in Washington inspired by a pervert that was thankfully removed from the human gene pool by a giant horse cock.
- Skyscraper escape pods inspired by the the victims that plummeted to their deaths from the burning floors of the World Trade Center.
- A marriage contract inspired by a personality disorder.
The California Supreme Court has rejected Tookie Willams, co-founder of the Crips, appeal for a stay of execution. The killing is set to take place tomorrow unless granted clemency Governor Schwarzenegger (insert bad “You’re fired” True Lies line here). Tookie maintains his innocence from the murder charges to this day. He also had a thing for the close contact shotgun action:
According to the forensic pathologist, Yen-I Yang suffered two shotgun wounds. One shotgun wound was to his left arm and abdomen. This wound shredded Yen-I’s left arm, fractured his ribs, and shattered his spleen, right kidney, bowel and large vessels. The other shotgun wound was to the lower left chest. This wound also fractured ribs and shattered the spleen, right kidney, bowel and large vessels. Moreover, a plastic shotgun shot container and associated wadding were recovered from the base of Yen-I’s liver. The pathologist further explained that both of the Yen-I Yang’s wounds were inflicted when the end of the muzzle was only feet from Yen-I’s body. Yee-Chen Lin was shot once in the upper left face area at a distance of a few feet. She was transported from the scene by paramedics to Centinela Hospital where she died at 7:36 am.
On a lighter note: Congratulations to my sister (and her husband) who successfully delivered a bouncing baby boy early Saturday morning. Tale of the tape: Caleb John; 7 pounds 13 ounces and 20 inches long. I cannot wait to give that kid scotch whiskey, dirty magazines and smokes for his sixth birthday. Maybe even a shotgun.
Pere Lachaise cemetery in Paris has fenced off a famous tomb to prevent lewd acts being performed on the sepulcher cover. Apparently the statue’s crotch has seen more action than Tommy Lees’. Unlike Tommy Lee’s junk, however, you do not have to get checked for gonorrhea and hepatitis after rubbing up on it.
- A frightening haunted house. Frightening not because of superb effects and realistic horror scenarios but because it is operated by a registered sex offender.
- Wikipedia for the man who killed Halloween. Thanks to this prick and the paranoia he caused, I did not have a Snickers bar until I was in junior high. My dad would “check” all of my candy post trick-or-treating and deem it safe for consumption. He would take all the Snickers bars out of my bag and say things like, “This one is no good, son. It is poisoned” or “You cannot eat this one. It looks like someone tampered with it.” These “tainted” candy bars then found their way into my Dad’s secret candy stash for him to enjoy periodically through out the year. Fuck you, Candyman.
Yesterday, a squirrel ran underneath my moving car and committed suicide. I saw the little bastard out of the corner of my eye as I drove down the street and assumed he would not tempt fate by running into the street until I was past. As I came closer, the disturbed vermin darted out from the curb and I flattened his ass. The squirrel had some emotional issues and my Firestone radial happened to be a means to an end. He is survived by a family of ninety infested with the bubonic plague.
The pontiff is no more. Rumor has it the next pope may be Latin American. Me? I am pulling for a Jew. Rest in peace, JP the Deuce. We hardly knew ye.
The MB will be experiencing down time for few days as I ditch Yahoo Web Hosting and make the transition over to Joyent. After being a loyal customer for just under five years, Yahoo Web Hosting failed to inform me that my package was lowered five dollars nearly six months ago and did not bother switching me to the lower rate automatically. After emailing Yahoo about this oversight, they responded with an auto-generated email thanking me for my inquiry. In short, Yahoo Web Hosting sucks the sweat off of a dead donkey’s balls.
Hunter S. Thompson, the pioneer of gonzo journalism, killed himself. During my first trip to Las Vegas I remember staring at the casino carpet and laughing my ass off. I had just read Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas on the plane. Sonny Barger admitted post Hells Angels that Hunter is (was) the greatest writer in the world. That is saying a lot for a guy that wanted to kill him.