- A chimpanzee in a South African zoo has taken up smoking.
- Liberian soldiers wear wigs and womens’ clothing believing it will protect them in battle.
- The DEA has released the 2005 Drugs of Abuse handbook. Especially enjoyable are the chapters on Hallucinogens (8) and Inhalants (9).
Koko Is A Randy Bitch
Koko the Gorilla is a sexual deviant with a penchant for nipples:
“My client was getting some rudimentary signing from Koko,” he said by phone from his Redwood City office. “‘Let down your hair. Lie down on the floor. Show your breasts again. Close your eyes.’ My client peeped out and saw Koko slowly kneel down and start squatting and breathing heavily. My client got spooked and ran out of the trailer.”
Thailand Is Magical
Thailand is magical. It’s a wondrous place where one can buy a brick of hash for cheap, engage in group sex with fifteen underage prostitutes and watch orangutans kick box each other to the death.
Primate War Reenactment
Nels: I haven’t had fun since the early nineties.
Me: Really? What did said fun entail?
Nels: Ballerinas and monkeys dressed up in Civil War costumes.
Me: Well who couldn’t have fun with ballerinas?
Nels: Monkeys dressed up in Civil War costumes.