Link Goodness

  • A comprehensive explanation of the sport cricket. In St. Lucia the wife and I encountered some cricket grounds while driving through the countryside. Our guides informed us that while cricket is not a big game on the island, a brand new stadium, Beausejour Ground, was built on the outskirts of Rodney Bay and will host matches of the ICC Cricket World Cup 2007.
  • Existential Garfield comics. This depressing storyline originally ran the week of October 23, 1989 as a lead up to Halloween. Garfield awakens in the future when the house is abandoned and he no longer exists. Some theorize that the end of this storyline implies that the rest of the “conventional” strips are just fantasies Garfield plays out in his head to delude himself from realizing that he is starving to death in an abandoned house. Here I thought that Garfield was just a shallow husk of commercialism that yielded film abominations staring Jennifer Love Hewitt and plush orange stuffed animals.
  • Claire Hoffman, staff writer for the LA Times, spends some time with Joe Francis, founder of the Girls Gone Wild empire. Hijinks ensue.
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MB Neglect

I apologize for my neglect of the MB lately as work has kept me busier than your mom after inhaling Poppers at an anal sex convention. I have been catching up after three weeks of ruining my life and the subsequent celebration of ruining my life in a third world country. On with today’s link goodness:

  • Graphic representation in the form of nationalistic coffins of the mounting death toll in the Israel-Lebanon conflict (updated daily).
  • An open letter to a mental case into mini-fridges.
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Job Vomit

I am in the midst of contemplating some major career decisions. These past six months have been the worst of my professional life and that includes my first year out of college when I was laid off twice and commuting fifty miles daily in a car with no air conditioning. Needless to say, I have been sending out resumes with the subtlety of a self-immolating Buddhist monk. I have started a morning ritual of meditating in my car before I go into the office to put myself in the right frame of mind. The ritual goes as such: I take a deep breath and think about starving children in Africa whose villages are torn apart by famine, disease and death. I take a deep breath and think about young female amputees scared for life by land mines and the memories of having sex with zealot soldiers consumed with hate just to survive a civil war. I take a deep breath and think about heroin addicts living on the streets who were born into unloving, drug infested homes where they were physically, sexually and mentally abused. Then I call myself a pussy, put my experience in perspective, sack up and go into the office dreaming of the day when I will finally get rid of that fucking car without air conditioning. Recent developments have me hopeful this will happen very soon. Now on to more important things; like Eastern European broads wrestling in their panties. I could watch those videos for hours.

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Gender Bending Behind Bars

A superb article about Transgendered prison bitches. Quoth one bitch:

I should not have to prostitute myself to remain safe.

I have luckily never been locked up before, but it seems to me that you are either predator or prey in the clink. So if you are a Transgendered, kiddy-touching she-male, you best serve your ass up to the baddest motherfucker in that place if you harbor any notions of self-preservation.

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Tomb Rubbin’

Pere Lachaise cemetery in Paris has fenced off a famous tomb to prevent lewd acts being performed on the sepulcher cover. Apparently the statue’s crotch has seen more action than Tommy Lees’. Unlike Tommy Lee’s junk, however, you do not have to get checked for gonorrhea and hepatitis after rubbing up on it.

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Halloween Link Goodness

  • A frightening haunted house. Frightening not because of superb effects and realistic horror scenarios but because it is operated by a registered sex offender.
  • Wikipedia for the man who killed Halloween. Thanks to this prick and the paranoia he caused, I did not have a Snickers bar until I was in junior high. My dad would “check” all of my candy post trick-or-treating and deem it safe for consumption. He would take all the Snickers bars out of my bag and say things like, “This one is no good, son. It is poisoned” or “You cannot eat this one. It looks like someone tampered with it.” These “tainted” candy bars then found their way into my Dad’s secret candy stash for him to enjoy periodically through out the year. Fuck you, Candyman.
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Clown Girl

A bulleted list on what bothers me about this video:

  • A clown can be sexually arousing.
  • An advertising professional going by the nickname Kazoo.
  • Den Fujita, the first McDonald’s Japan president, waxing on diet and skin color: “The reason Japanese people are so short and have yellow skins is because they have eaten nothing but fish and rice for 2000 years. If we eat McDonald’s hamburgers and potatoes for a thousand years we will become taller, our skin become white and our hair blond.”

I have just three words for McDonald’s Japan: Giant McSquid Sandwich.

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