Nothing says guilt and crazed like a shit house rat when a suspected serial killer chooses to represent themselves in court. Do us all a favor, John Allen; lay back on the gurney, take your lethal injection like a man and spare us all the media circus that will surround your trial.
- Kids in the Denver metro area will be braving a cold Halloween night. I will refuse candy to a child if I see their parents dropping them off in a car. If these spoiled punks want sugar, they better be out in the elements with a pillowcase risking hypothermia, pneumonia and frostbite. I want kids half frozen at my front door with teeth chattering. Then and only then will I give them two mini-Reese’s Peanut Butter Sticks.
- A Cheers for serial killers. Ted Bundy, one of the Hillside Stranglers and John Allen Muhammad have all spent nights at the draining cold ones.
- Jam Master Jay was gunned down at his recording studio in Queens yesterday. Rest in Peace Jam Master Jay; the turntables might wobble but they won’t fall down.
David Berkowitz (a.k.a. Son of Sam) has urged the mad sniper to “stop killing innocent people.” You may remember Dave from his serial killing days when he used to walk up to random people and fire his .44 Magnum pistol at them until the chamber was empty. He claims that a 3000 year-old demon dog named Harvey told him to go out and kill. Thankfully, he has seen the error of his ways and is now encouraging others not to make the same mistakes he did. On a related note, Nikki Sixx is advising teens not to use heroin and engage in promiscuous unprotected sex and Mariah Carey is lecturing young women on emotionally stability and healthy diets.