Thieves ganked five thousand dollars worth of panties at their local Victoria’s Secret. I like to imagine that five hot college coeds masterminded a plan to boost the panties because they were unable to afford them and then proceeded to put the stolen panties on back at their sorority house leading to an outrageous pillow fight that lowered their inhibitions and caused them to engage in lesbianism. In reality, a disgusting sex offender with bad acne and syphilis probably stole the panties so he could rub them on his face while he masturbated to videos of donkey porn.