The past few days my intestinal tract has been ravaged by the flu and I have been confined to my town home. Today I was finally able to hold down chicken noodle soup and saltine crackers. I mostly rested and watched daytime television. Yesterday on Divorce Court, an older gentleman explained to Judge Ephriam why he needed to take Viagra to keep up with his young wife:

I usually come to the plate with a wooden bat. It is reliable and it hits the ball far. When I take Viagra, it is like upgrading to an aluminum bat, you can play the game longer and hit the ball further.

After he said that, I turned off the television and went to sleep.