This morning I received an email of distress from my friend Scott in Minnesota:

How you doin’ Matt?

After reading your blog, I’m here to check on you and make sure you’re all right. That’s some eyebrow-raising shit you’ve been linking to and I recommend a lavender bath to chill your ass out.

Maybe your friends are feeding you the links, I dunno, but all I can say is if Susan Wright’s now dead husband would have just gotten her a shit bitch bear, I bet he’d still be alive today. Pass it on. It could save a life!

Just to assure Scott that I am not going to the roof of a tall building with a high powered assault rifle to pick off old ladies with shopping bags anytime soon, check out this stupid sweater.