Nameless Elevator Rider #1: I hate snow. We had an inch and half of it on the ground when I woke up this morning.
Nameless Elevator Rider #2: We didn’t get any snow at our house.
Nameless Elevator Rider #1: (angrily) Well you don’t live in Conifer.
My Thought Bubble: Conifer. Eight thousand feet above sea level. In the Rocky Mountains. Where it snows at least eight months out of the year. You dumb bitch.
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Yeah. The sheer number of those idiots can be astounding.
“We’re moving to Colorado because we *love* the mountains so we’re going to by a million dollar home that is 20 miles from the nearest grocery store and miss at least an extra week of work due to the snow.”
Non-Colorado natives always ask me how I can identify an interloper. It’s quite easy, I tell them (see post).
My favorite way to identify is to use “Valley Highway” or “Boulder Turnpike” when giving directions. If they look clueless, then you know they’re from SoCal or Dicksinass, Texas.