Las Vegas Trip In Brief

  • Friends Made: Ming the Hooters Casino High Roller who bet $1000 a hand at Pai Gow.
  • Enemies Made: a black stripper from the Spearmint Rhino and a fat pit boss named Bill.
  • Best Quote From Dave: “Right now I have more alcohol in me than sense.”
  • Best Quote From Erik: “When I see you again I will buy you $100 in bourbon.”
  • Seen In Abundance: Wisconsin fans, hooker trading cards and fake boobs.
  • Seen In Scarcity: Street sweepers, museums and my judgment.
  • New Coined Marketing Slogan To Be Sold To The Las Vegas Chamber Of Commerce: Welcome to the Sex Ashtray.
  • Gambling Maxims Proven Correct: Never hit on 13, respect the sixes and a “push” is a win.
  • Gambling Maxims Proven Wrong: No craps game goes seven straight rolls without making the point.
  • Best Casino Game: Pai Gow, which is Chinese for Slow Money Bleed Super Happy Fun Drink Time.
  • Worst Casino Game: Money Drop, or as it is more popularly known “Let It Ride.”
  • Best Run: Six and a half hours at a Pai Gow table on $40 that yielded countless free drinks, death threats from dealers named Gene, screams of free Hooters calendars and chicken wings, continual verbal assaults directed towards a fat pit boss named Bill and eventually, free Hooters T-shirts and shot glasses that Ming the Hooters Casino High Roller charged to his room.
  • Worst Run: Ten minutes at a craps table that took $100.
  • Best Eats: Steaks at Mon Ami Gabi and Bailey’s ice cream shakes.
  • Worst Eats: My bag of Fritos and pack of Starbursts for dinner and Will’s infamous “last breakfast” from Nathan’s which consisted of a chili dog, a handful of soggy crinkle fries and twelve over-cooked chicken wings.
  • Best Sports Bet: Wil for putting it on UNLV to cover the spread versus Wisconsin.
  • Worst Sports Bet: Me for putting $20 on the Colorado Avalanche to win the 2008 Stanley Cup.
  • Years On My Life That The Trip Took Off : Two.

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