The wife and I have been back and forth to the local Petco for all manner of kitty supplies over the past few days. After three trips to the same store, I have noticed that every employee appears to have a serious drug problem. Sunday we rolled in with our new pussy to get some Meow Mix and a litter box. Our cashier who reeked of cigarettes, wore a bad perm and had fewer teeth than a jack-o-lantern asked us for the inane details regarding our feline. Tuesday we patronize the store for a litter box scoop and a spray bottle (or “Instant Kitty Be Good” as I call it) and the same cashier waits on us and proceeds to ask us the same questions as if she has never seen us before. The topper was this afternoon when I took back a food dish. A cashier with a female golf coach haircut smelling of pot waited on me. She had to call the manager over to approve the return. When the manager arrives, I am frightened with her countenance as she looks more strung out than Andy Dick, has pockmarks all over her face and has not one tooth in her head. As I walk out to the parking lot a Petco employee is smoking cigarettes and pretending to be collecting carts.

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  1. I HIGHLY recommend dropping the Meow Mix for a healthier pet food – although your broke unemployed ass likely can’t afford it. Some foods that you might want to check out are Blue Buffalo or Nutro. The key things you should look for are single protein source (fish OR chicken OR beef, never combos), NO wheat, corn, beet pulp, copper sulfate, or by-products (by products include the following: the nonrendered parts, other than meat, of slaughtered mammals. It includes, but is not limited to, heads, necks, feet, intestines, lungs, spleen, blood, bone and viscera.) The wheat is an allergen that will cause your kitties to have unhealthy skin/coats, which will lead to more shedding, hairballs, and cleaning on your part – no fun. The beet pulp will cause your kitties’ teeth to rot and produce sugar highs, and subsequent crashes, like giving a 12 pack of super sized snickers to a 5 year old. They cost more, but you feed less, your kitties shit less, you clean less, and you end up at the vet’s office less. Ergo, better pet experience. Just some thoughts for you. Best of luck with the children.

  2. Why in the hell do you think we moved?

    Try having two cats and going there like once a week for the next 3 years.

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