Pants-Free No More

The working from home experiment officially ends on April 24 as I have accepted an Art Director position for a consulting firm in downtown Denver for a ridiculous amount of money. I learned many things during the home office endeavor:

  • When not physically interacting with society on a regular basis I will not change my shorts until I squat down to pick something up and smell the essence of my own ass.
  • When not physically interacting with society on a regular basis I will not shower until I squat down to pick something up and smell the essence of my own ass.
  • When Divorce Court is on I will not turn it off. Preach on, Judge Toler. Preach on.
  • There are times in life when porn is your enemy.
  • I do not hate society as much as once initially thought.
  • Conference calls are just as worthless as face to face meetings.
  • Clients cannot tell when you are calling them from the bathroom.
  • Clients cannot tell when you are surfing your RSS feeds instead of taking notes.
  • Clients will not take you seriously if your “team” consists of anyone from India or the Philippines.
  • Total hours (per week) put in at an office job during a normal work week: 42. Total hours (per week) put in at a home office job during a normal work week: 55.
  • Working from home is a lot like bedding a really hot girl and then finding out that she is a lousy lay; at first you cannot believe its happening to you and then you realize its just a means to an end.

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6 Comments

  1. Such sage words have been uttered by the Fathers of Philosophy.

    They didn’t have office jobs, either.

    Now you do.

    This may well prove to be your last, great post.

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