The working from home experiment officially ends on April 24 as I have accepted an Art Director position for a consulting firm in downtown Denver for a ridiculous amount of money. I learned many things during the home office endeavor:

• When not physically interacting with society on a regular basis I will not change my shorts until I squat down to pick something up and smell the essence of my own ass.
• When not physically interacting with society on a regular basis I will not shower until I squat down to pick something up and smell the essence of my own ass.
• When Divorce Court is on I will not turn it off. Preach on, Judge Toler. Preach on.
• There are times in life when porn is your enemy.
• I do not hate society as much as once initially thought.
• Conference calls are just as worthless as face to face meetings.
• Clients cannot tell when you are calling them from the bathroom.
• Clients cannot tell when you are surfing your RSS feeds instead of taking notes.
• Clients will not take you seriously if your “team” consists of anyone from India or the Philippines.
• Total hours (per week) put in at an office job during a normal work week: 42. Total hours (per week) put in at a home office job during a normal work week: 55.
• Working from home is a lot like bedding a really hot girl and then finding out that she is a lousy lay; at first you cannot believe its happening to you and then you realize its just a means to an end.