The Broz Girl Child Arrives Sandwich Interruptus

While the boy’s birthing was a marathon fight like Rocky Balboa versus Ivan Drago (minus the sweet “No Easy Way Out” montage), the Broz girl child fired her way out of the chute like a Hitler-hating Jesse Owens in the 1936 Olympics.

As labor approached the noon hour, my mom asked if I wanted to run downstairs and get a sandwich with her because, “You need to keep your strength up too, Matty.” The wife gave me the go ahead as her contractions were light and I was not planning on being gone for long. 20 minutes later I walked back into the labor and delivery room and the wife had gone from being dilated at 4 to 6 (for those of you unfamiliar with the cervix during childbirth, this is like hitting a thirty-pointer in basketball).

Within the hour, the girl child was being tagged and our nurse was quoted as saying, “That was pretty intense.”

The House of Broz is currently fun, crazy and full of poop. Lots of poop.

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2 Comments

  1. Had that been a Valente's Deli Bakery & Italian Market sandwich, Zoe would have leaped out of the womb, bitch-slapped you and beaten you to death for that amazing sandwich leaving you in a bloodied state writhing on the ground shouting, "why, why, why" like Nancy Kerrigan.

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