The Sly Stallone To My Burgess Meredith

Mark: I am going to get a haircut so I can trick this girl into thinking I am good looking. Today will be my “I am a good/funny/nice guy day.” I may ask her out this Friday.
Me: Do it. Say something witty.
Mark: Like what?
MeLike, “Are you into sodomy? Because I certainly am not.”
Mark: Jesus.
Me“And if your sitting there thinking I am into butt sex, then we should to end this relationship right now.” Or tell her, “I do not wear underwear. But if I do, it is usually something tasteless, like a turquoise thong. Which look funny on me because of my hirsute bikini line.” Something along those lines. That stuff is gold.
Mark: Is it? She might not get it.
Me: She seems dumb. That is good.
Mark: No, she is not dumb. She is a biology major.
Me: She seems smart. That is good. You are Rocky and I am Mickey in this scenario. “Go in there and tear her head off, Mark.”

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