The wife and I threw a housewarming party on Saturday night, inviting our friends and family over to destroy all the hard work we put into the place over the past few months. Some highlights:
- Japanese Whiskey is a great housewarming gift and a fun treat for Grandma.
- My four-year-old nephew held court over the fire of a citronella candle waxing philosophical to numerous adults on Star Wars, baseball, war and gladiators.
- Johnny Ballgame rolled up in a new truck named “The Licorice Whip.” New is a relative term as said truck is an early 80s Chevy Half-Ton with visible fire damage and more miles on it than 50-year-old stripper. Jake reported that it died twice during the convenience store cigarette run. The convenience store is a quarter mile from the house.
- My neighbor Kevin (who I have talked to three times) walked into the house grabbed a cup from our kitchen and poured himself a keg beer. He than greeted us and proceeded to hang out for the next six hours.
- A pack of youngsters found kitty’s second confirmed kill in our backyard. That brings the body count to two in less than one week.
- Most decadent housewarming gift: 80+ ounces of Grey Goose vodka.
- Number of partygoers that threatened to Top Shelf one of the bathrooms: 2.
- Number of partygoers that requested Journey’s Greatest Hits for a musical selection: 7.
- Number of partygoers that had to be called a cab at 3 AM due to someone “taking their keys”: 2.
- Number of partygoers that drank the bottle of rum they brought as a housewarming gift: 2.
- Approximate time on Sunday that my hangover wore off and I was able to able to stand up without getting lightheaded: 4 PM.
* The truck died once.
* The rum was the “her” half of your housewarming gift and I know “she” had at least two cups. You still have your leather-wrapped Scotch.