This Is My Country

After reading this I became inspired to write a Chevy Truck commercial:

Cue John Mellencamp’s ‘Our Country’. Enter drunken redneck sucking down tall boys of Schlitz while driving down a dirt road in a Chevy half-ton pickup truck. Cut to grainy footage of herds of bison being slaughtered by US Calvary Troops in the late 19th century. Cut to drunken redneck lighting a non-filtered cigarette and swerving down the road. Cut to an incapacitated college freshman being date raped at a fraternity house over an American Flag. Cut to drunken redneck losing consciousness behind the wheel. Cut to homeless people standing in a soup kitchen line in the freezing cold. Cut to drunken redneck passing out and running down a hermaphrodite deer with seven legs. Cut to footage of the University of Miami-FIU brawl. Cut to drunken redneck shoving his face into the warm, mangled carcass of the freak deer. Drunken redneck lifts head, looks into the camera, smiles and gives the thumbs up signal as blood drips from his mouth. Drunken redneck slams his face back into the steaming dead animal. Cut to footage of the Oklahoma City bombing, the World Trade Center tragedy and Abu Ghraib prison. Flash Chevy Trucks logo. Fade out to John Mellencamp’s ‘Our Country’. Fin.

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