When I Get Old

When I get old, I plan on wearing a Fedora hat, having a cane with a cobra handle that I will beatย young punks with, eating at the Sizzler early bird and loudly complaining to the Hispanic busboy when the salad bar is out of bacon bits and falling asleep in my lounge chair while watching Matlock. I might even add throwing rotten fish at people into my old man modus operandi.

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